Issues Of Our Times

You know, it's amazing that even though I live in a country with some of the most people infected with HIV/AIDS, I don't really take the time to chill and talk about that shit. Sure we all know it's there and sure we all know that we shouldn't bone without rubbers if we don't wanna catch the virus. But have you ever actually seen a person suffering with that shit? I'll admit that I haven't in real life(I chickened out at the last moment) but I know that it's fucken hectic! So anyway, I thinks it's time to give back. I'm thinking of things I could do but I can't go for my HIV test cause I just got my results back so that's a no-go. Maybe go to an orphanage or whatever and hang with the little ones. Something, even if it's not on December First but something. It's definately something that affects all of us, no matter what. Think about it for a second. In the meantime, I heard about something that will be happening on the day surrounding such things. Its free of charge so the proceeds aren't going to anything but it's interesting to at least for one day focus on this issue and check out what peeps have to say bout it. So run check this:

Friday 1st December

19h30 till late @ Shivava Cafe
Music & Performance Poetry Festival featuring: Ymag's Kabomo as emcee,
Dj Kenzhero, Fifi, Makgabe, Mac Manaka, visiting US (Atlanta based) Hip Hop act, Afar and more.

I know, I know a hip hop act we aint never heard before but they are quite noice. Check em out on: www.afarmusic.com
NO COVER CHARGE

And while I'm on the note of shamelessly punting my friends here's a little something extra. Check out this press release bout a friend of mine:

Disillusioned by the leaders of today, tired of the succession battle, unhappy about floor-crossing - sounds like you need to follow the growing group of supporters for the next “president elect” - Loyiso Gola.

After hosting the “Let Durban Laugh Festival” which will be held at the Durban City Hall on the 8th and the 9th of December and is expecting about 4000 people over the 2 days, Loyiso Gola hits the road again with a much anticipated run of his one man show which will aptly carry the gripping title, “Loyiso Gola for President”. This show will run at the Market Theatre, Newtown from the 30th of January to the 4th of February 2007. Popular radio station YFM has come on board as the key media partner and will be giving the show a substantial amount of support during its run.

This will be the first instalment of this show and be the first opportunity for Loyiso to perform this set to the public. However it will also be the last time Jozi sees him perform for a while as he leaves for Durban shortly thereafter to perform as the warm up act for internationally acclaimed comedy superstar Sugar Sammy for the entire month of February at the Suncoast Casino resort.
(Sugar Sammy hails from Canada and his meteoric rise to fame culminated in him touring North America last year with Dave Chapelle. It is testament to the profile that Loyiso Gola now enjoys on the local comedy circuit that he was selected by the organisers of the event to be part of this show)

Loyiso Gola has been described in comedy circles and numerous articles as “the next big thing in South African comedy” with some going as far as saying that he is the future of comedy in this country. His unique sense of humour and his affinity towards openly frank and observational commentary has carved Loyiso into a comedy genius and has elevated his status in the realms of local comedy. In taking his one man show to the people, Loyiso follows the path of many legendary comedians before him in packaging a one man show with its own distinct style and subject matter. Many of these, namely Richard Pryor’s I’m Crazy; Eddie Murphy’s Raw; Chris Rock’s Never Scared; Jerry Seinfeld’s I’m Saying This For The Last Time and Dave Chapelle’s Killing Them Softly have gone on to achieve cult success worldwide and have influenced comics of the new age like Loyiso.

In this pseudo election campaign titled show, Loyiso takes his audiences on a roller coaster ride down a path uncharted. “The president elect” will entertain, provoke and leave audiences in raptures with his opinions on the crazy world that we live in. He will also unravel stories of his life; growing up in apartheid and the adventures that have come with being a product of the new South Africa. In a frank but tasteful manner, he will make commentary on issues that we are surrounded by today and his set will cover anything and everything from gender relations to race relations, growing up in the townships to cruising in the suburbs, Bantu education to union strikes. “His younger brother charm” and sheer ability to weave local and universal stories together in his comedy, not only promises to make the experience a thoroughly enjoyable one but potentially a dangerous one too. Tear “jerkingly” funny, Loyiso will strive to take your breath away with some hard hitting punch lines and side splitting gags that will have you chanting “Vote Loyiso Gola!!!” Laugh at your own discretion but you’ve been warned!

From the 30th of January to the 4th of February 2007 you will have an opportunity to see him do what he does best at the Market Theatre, cover charge R 80.00. So if you haven’t decided who you are going to “vote for” in the next election do yourself a favour and go listen to the “campaign” of one, Loyiso Gola.

For any queries, questions, pictures, complaints, requests, issues, debates, please contact;
“Presidential Campaign Officer”
Takunda Bimha
Cell: 076 1449428
Email: info@podiumentertainment.co.za

Okay that's it. I'm out!

Bloggunity

The rock 'n roll lifestyle. Yup, it continues on... & On. So like check this. I was like chilling at work right. You know, like you do. And like I go and I check my mails and shit. And like the people of the blogging commy are all like: "Hey buddy, like lets go and get like, drunk you know. Get to talk smack and all that." And I'm all like: "Umm yeah, that's okay. I am keen to like get drunk. And like get into all typsa conversation like". No-one ever told me that some of these people can drink a vodka drinking Russian spy straight under the table. Yessus! It's Monday as I write this and I'm just getting over the evenings antics. The sonzabitches! HAHAHA, I keed I keed! They were all real cool people. I shall say no who is who but leave it to your imagination. Good times!

So Ahem...like...figure it out...

So I be chilling at the crib, sipping on bub and shit. And The Mohatma here gave me a ride to the spot. HAHA! Was a bright beautiful day at my second...erm...fifth home. It's actually weird walking up there I felt a sudden shudder in my spine, I haven't been nervous in a very long time. I think the last time I was nervous was when I went in for my first kiss in Grade Seven at the disco. Okay and also when I was in a dark alley with a cat who had his face covered in prison tatoo's who probably had a name like Gatiep and wanted to know "What time it is". TRUE STORY! Anyway, I think it's cause I felt like a was shooting in a dark room cause these people all know who the fuck I am, and I have no idea who they are. So it was kinda unsettling. Did I mention I was nervous? So eventually I got a coupla drinks in me and then it was aight. A cool bunch of people all round. Fo true! I had a fucken blast! And I meet this guy who resembles a certain guy who really likes MILFs and shit(wink wink) in that other movie about Pies in America.

And this crazy guy! (Like a Russian spy I tell ya!)And then these lovely ladies decided to throw their V's up in the air. HAHAHA! Or is the one on the right the new camel-toe one. Or could it be cupping some titties? Hmmmm...we might need to have a discussion you and I. HAHA! Either way, Noice one! And some good company too.I threw my own V in the air but...erm...I got distracted. HAHA! Look at the pervy look in the eye. Yes it true, I mive the duff but never in the big V only the clenched fist. Yeah that's right. I said it! So like we chilling and the Big D spots some noice ass eye candy. This grrrl was packing some serious bazooka's! So I get The Finchmeister to hang out and act like he's taking a pose. See him being all sophisticated like? HAHA! You know, so we dont look like a coupla titty-and-ass-hungry stalker photo taking guys. But I fumbled and I kinda blew the shot and she dissappeared. Dang! I waited a coupla more minutes and then I got the shot. Pity I couldnt get the *ahem* face. :) But I pwomise, this was not for me. So Sunshine if you reading this then know that it wasn't my fault. It was all that big guy's fault. He made me do it. Pwomise! ;) In case you was wondering, she was very noice. So noice the Finch poses started coming out. HAHAHA! You'd swear we were on set and e'erything!
Anyway, so me Julie came through(looking pweety as usual if I say so me'self)... ...with her kindred. There are some good genes in this family. I need to reconsider going out with both of them in public cause I get too many questions from guys askin me bout them. Ask all you want fella's but no touching m'kay! No seriously. Phuck, but it's tough at the top.

So like there I am and I pull out the face on her with the quickness. She didnt even see it coming.

But she brings it back with a vengeance. For a first timer, that is not bad. Not bad at all! But don't get too excited just yet it's just the first round. You may have won the battle but you aint won the war. *evil laugh* BWAHAHAHA!

So also chilled and then Dev wanted to take a pic of me taking a pic of him. Then his cam fucked up. Extra points to me for the pose. HAHAH! But then he got the beat back and had me on the back foot. Me and the fella's. Good fucken okes these chaps! And twenty points to The Dee Guy for the WTF face that he just snuck up on all of us! Fucken classic! Oh and I bumped into my old primary school best buddy Syph and his (grrrl)friend. Well played big guy. And get this, a whit dude was serving them. Yeah I know it's nothing to write home about but I was still kinda amazed. Considering I was the only black guy at the table I was sitting at, it was a suprisingly refreshing ting. i'm just saying.

**His identity has been concealed (and replaced with a big fat black line) in case of future incidents of patrons taking advantage of his excellent services. I aint trying to catch no lawsuits o'er here. Anywhere, so after I got COMPLETY FUCKEN SMASHED and I ended up in Norwood at the place they call 88.

With the fella's

And we all got even more twisted. I think things from this point all became a blur. I seriously dont remember anything after this. Look at me eyes, you can tell I'm a gonner huh?

So with that, I bid you 'adew!

Hypnotiq

So like I went to this place yesterday. Twaz, like, real hectic dude. Real hectic. I'm in denial about my rock-n-roll lifestyl. Really I am. I was actually even meant to be in a car on my way to Cape Town right now, you know, cause I wanna bunk work and just go. Ever done that kinda shit? Just drop everything and go. Yeah I woulda been on the beach sipping on mohito's by sundown tonight. Alas, I am at work. Well before I get to far into that lemme learn you sumfin bout my day yesterday.

So I came home and my brethren were lounging on the porch, chilling talking shit and what not. I think the topic of conversation revolved around this episode of Curb Your Enthusiam were Larry and Jeff were talking about the big V. So think about this for a moment, how many women complain about men having small dicks? Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe the woman has an unusually large vagina? Dont dismiss it so easily. Ponder on that for a second and lemme know what you think. I really thought it was quite funny! I still so. BWAHAHAHA!!!!Oh and this, by the way, is the international sign for "Large Vagina" so be careful out there ladies. Dont say I didnt tell ya! HAHAHA!Anyway, I had me one of these. It's great having a fridge purely dedicated to just liquor. See that froth on the top there? That's like all the icicle's and shit. I'm sure you can almost taste it in your mouth cant ya?

There's something so tranquil about my new place's porch. It's like really cool to see people walking around on the streets and doing shit where as before I was caged up in my house and hardly ever saw anybody. Real good.

Oh and then I had this amazing new drink(okay its not new alright but it's new to me). It's called the Flex Bender. Wah Wa Wee Wah!!!! Dude, I'm so fucking loving that shit. Get this, it's like a bourbon and lime....all in one bottle! Holy Crizzap!

So later on went to the place they called Roka. Went to go check out a performance or two. I was confronted by a rather annoying large cloud of smoke. Cant they just turn the fucken smoke machine off! Dang nabbit!

Anyway these two chicks came on. With nice harmonies and shit. Even went acappella to show they weren't faking it. I think the group's called Two Parts Black or something. Nice(ish) sound.

The joint...

...and it's people's

So the chick I had come to see came on. Her name is Fifi. DUUUDE!!!! I'm so fucken loving her shit. She has this like really clean sound about her, and if you close your eyes and open your ears, you could almost imagine you were listening to Billy Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald. Seriously. Oh and she can hold it down on the verses too.

How many female South African artists can you say that about huh? I know, I'm punting her shit but mark my words but she's going to go big. I'm telling you! Oh and I think she has like the cutest BIG eyes ever. So adorable!

So I'm chilling and watching her show and I look down and this is what I see. Fucken hippies!

The One's and Two's. Yeah you'll see me behind these motherfuckers one day. Okay it might be a long day away, but its still one day. HAHA!Khenzero. When was the last time you heard them play The Jackson Five...in a club! Whoo hoo!
As you can tell we were getting down. And actually it was like the first in like EVER I've danced in a club this year. Good on ya mate

So get this, Pi just decided to up and bounce and leave the city. Right there in the club. Fuck, I lost colour when he told me that. Fuck I'm still at a loss for colour. The bastard!

Kenny and Gusto fam(e). Cool cats just chilling minding the bidness.
The Casual guy.

I told you have to get one of these everywhere I go. Ngwana wa batho o tswere ezzie e masepa!
On the way back, we saw an accident. This shit really makes you think dont it? So buckle up if you reading this. Seriously, I wana hear from you next year aight?

It was Twiggle's birthday yesterday so he went and pulled out this little beauty. You dont know it? Well neither did I till yesterday. Apparently they have it in all the music videos when they talking about bitches and hoes and shit. I'll look out for it.

Can you tell I'm beaming over here! No, Im just fucked.

Me and my 'nug. Pity you had to go to Cape Town on your birthday man, but next week it's on like donkey kong bitch! Needless to say, I'm really tired while I'm writing this. But it will all go away...eventually.

Have a pleasant weekend all!