Jezzir

Hello!

Before I go along with the post I'd just like to say that I am a little sad about having lost the singing sensation Lebo Mathosa. Sure this is about a week late but it's better late than never innit? Anyway, I had met Lebo a coupla times and seen her perform too. One of the most electrifying performers on stage I is ever seen. A right cool chick who had the world as her oyster. It really is a sad sad time for South African's to have lost such an inspiring woman. You will be missed and never forgotten.


Okay now let's keep it moving and get along with the post.

Friday 20 October - The Mix

Now this time of the month is never a time when a lot of us have dosh in our pocket. So I'm loungin at the crib staring at a boring night at home watching cheesy porno's on E-tv and eating Pick 'n Pay chicken when...
...these mofo's rock up to the Cabana holding forty's and shit. So I'm thinking, should I protest and act all hard when cats are trying to say let's go get out drink on? Uhm...nah! Never that! Well they really didn't know where they were goin, they were just getting into the car and going and getting their drink on. We ended up at Fuel Cafe. Not exactly my cuppa, but hey. Whatever.After I had taken these pics I looked back at them and I noticed the creepy look Knuckles had in his eye. What The Fuck? Erm listen guy, I'm sorry if this disappoints you but I don't swing that way. HAHAHA! No but seriously.Bumped into my main man TrouserSnake Dave. Do yourself a favour and support my boys' latest project. Dont ever say I didn't tell neh? You wont regret it! If you forget then click on the Bunny Chow link on the right -----> Go on, do it now! Go!Also saw VDub who wanted to break out into a broo-ha-ha with the mountain man at the door. Dude, I thought I was a tall guy but this guy. Jeeziz! And if you look right, he about a whole head taller than VDub. Actually a head and a bit of change. HAHA!
The vibe

And then this. I'm stuck with Blowfish looking like he's from from The Contender & Stone Cold. Umm...yeah, dont ask and I wont tell you.
Then bumped into G-Hill. I dont know what they were putting in the drinks that night but if it makes you look like this then I dont want any. HAHA!

The Rock too? What going on in this place. Someone's put the Kaybash on these fella's. Have I stepped into the twilight zone or what?

But the Zin was lookin fresh as a daisy! Eyes wide shut.

Twaz a kinda pap vibe so we saddle up our shit and went to Cappello's. Pap vibe as well.

But it was fucken raining bats & doves out there. And they wanted me to pay 50 bucks to get into a place that wasnt even all that happening. AND it was like mad late too, like 2 inna mornin or sumfin. Shit, I told the guy at the door he could teabag me. He didnt understand but he didn't look too happy about it either.

On the way home went past Melville. Okay I know, but it's the only place that's open till late where you can get a drink. No?

Jezzir. Prolly the best place on the whole of 7th Avenue. Okay maybe not but...still a cool place.

The fella's had skipped out on Capello's and went straight to the source.

Base in the house lookin pretty as always. As she so eloquently put's it: "Hollerization!" HAHA! Cracks me up everyttime.

These are the twins. Can you tell? Man I SO fucken wish I had a twin. The things I would do! Think about it, what would you do if you had a twin. For one, I'd switch a day at work with him, just for kicks. Now that's interesting. Then I'd switch girls and we could...actually nevermind

Remember the link --->

Oh and if anything dodgy has ever gone down in my stay in Jozi and you thought I was involved then you're completly mistaken. It was this guy! So please kindly forward all your complaints to him and he will be happily obliged to assist you in your query. Hehe...Dull night, except when we went to the gas station and bumped into McZzzz. Oooooh! Exciting life I lead dont I? HAHA!

Tuesday 24 October - The Move

So I was packing my shit cause I'm moving outta my place at the end of the month and I noticed all the fucken bottles we have amassed over the last year. OMFG! Yeah, welcome to the Liks Club.

Wednesday 25 October - The Bowls

Got a kite to make my way straight to the Bowls on the hottest day ever! Seriously, it was like 33 degress or some shit.

I proper left work and sliced through traffic on the Vespa to get there. Man, I tell you, fuck all the complaining I've been doing about the it. It's fucken great during summer! Fo' true! Got there and this guy was there...

...and so was this guy...

...and these guys. Doesn't that just look oh-so-fucken-beautiful? Fuck, I think I'm thirsty now. Anyway, I was so caught up in the beer that I forgot that people were coming to view the house and I was like an hour late. Ah well..

...Post To Be Continued Soon...

The Rawkus

Hello (pause) My name is Suave and I'm an alchoholic. [*Everbody*] Hi Suave!!!

LOL, yeah well I dont know about that but I think I'm slowly but surely getting to that stage. I think it could be the summer and the fact that the girls are wearing less which would be the catalyst to me drinking so much more of late. Anyway enough about me, let's move on.

Thursday 12 October

I went to Roka with Casual on Thursday.
We actually for the first time had ever gone out to a gig purely based on one of those sms's that you get during the week. This one was titled "Pre-exam Party" or something like that. We should've had a bit of foresight judging by the sms but it turned out to be quite dissapointing. Apparently there was a band that playe just before but we had just missed the it so..Casual has decided to quit all things intoxicating. Yup, liquor and blunts. Except ciggies.He actually only ordered lemonade. I dont know...does that mean I'm an alchoholic because I couldnt be able to go so long without liquor? Actually dont answer that!The Roogy came thru from some whiskey tasting event......and he was rolling with Cakes. You can tell cause they were all BEE'd out and shit. You know square-toe, collar but nor fat-tie...fortunaltely!Can you tell that he's dying for a drink? LOL!
I had to get this badunka! It fascinated me so much cause you can tell exactly where it starts. It's a guy thing I guess. But besides the bodacious booty, I think we were forcing matters being here. It wasn't that bad cause it was a school night anyway.

Friday the 13th

I came home from work on Friday and was playing Playstation the whole night..

...and Mike Lowry came through and joined me. He also came with...

...a crunked Vex. He was officially KTFO. Knocked The Fuck Out! Anyway I got a text about an event going on at Fuel Cafe later on but more on that later. I got my shit together and went with Casual to The Roogy's new spot. I'm going to be moving in with him at the end of the month too. But more on that later too.

What I dig about this spot is that when you pull into the parking spot it looks all dingy-like and dodgy. Almost like the settin for one of 'em kidnapping flicks set in a European city and what-not. But then you step into the place and it's just blazing!!! Proper pulls a 180 on you.

Alas, the masses had gathered on his...ahem... humble abode.

Including Cakes. But before I carry on, I had a got a text about a little something something happening at Fuel Cafe. Now generally I dont give a hoot about these things but this was a very special occasion.

Anyway, I went through on a one-man mission and the joint was packed.

Anyway I had come to see off Buzz who was looking seriously smoking! It was her final farewell thingy before going to London. Aww *sniffle*

But I mean really! Look at her, wow. She was looking amazing. Anyway it was a suprise thingy and and I had missed out on it but I still made it just in time to see her before she bounced. See? I am a nice guy.

K was the mystery sms person with the hook up. I was SO fucken gone at this point.

Haha! Happy party people!

Bumped into Swizzle(on the right) and her juicy friend. What? Nothing wrong in looking right? There's something about that frizzy hair that gets me everytime!

P-Dizzle, Grrr!, Swizzle and Suave.

People can be so forward sometimes. Especially when they're drunk. So I'm taking pics and everything and these grrrls tap me profusely asking if I'm from Thunda. Now being the oppurtunist I am I said I was so I took their pics. I was going to say something really funny about them but then I decided against it. They were cool peeps. I'm sucj a softy.

Like they say back in Cape Town: "Nee vok my bru, jy is dik gesuip! Gee my 'n vyf rand!" HAHA, okay the five rand part doesnt come in here anywhere but it just reminds me of how coloured guys on Main Road, Claremont always, ALWAYS ask for five bucks. If not its:"Gee 'n skyf daarso bruza". Fuggen bastards.

P-Dizzle in the hizzle!

And so Buzz left and I wont ever see her again...probably. *SOB* *SOB*. There she goes out the door(with her momz) and outta my life *weep* *weep*. Cheers Buzzyboo!

So I went back to the crib...

... and bumped into this femanina! Spec's femanina to be exact! I cant put my finger on it but I've seen her around somewhere. Ever had that? When you cant seem to pin-point exactly where you meet someone? It's grinding my nuts I tell you!

Next thing you know she sneaks the tongue in on me. Naughty naughty!

Base was rocking some blinging ass Schwa...swarr...Swarovski(or something like that) crystals. Now that's some bling for you right there! She explained the whole history and everything to me. I've never been so intruiged and strangely jittery about talking about girly accessories while questioning my manhood.

And Neyo was there too from Cape Town. But unlike others he has moved away from Jozi and moved to Cape Town. I will soon be following his footsteps. But more on that later. Took my ass home from here on out as I was too twisted.

Saturday - Jigga What

Went to the Jay-Z concert on Saturday.

And the traffic was phocken hectic getting there.

The Dome. It actually looks really good at night dont you think?

H.O.V.A

Can you tell I was excited?

So we had the ordinary tickets for floor standing right. But we got the word that we could call a special number and we could get an upgrade to ze Golden Circle for a mere Fifty Bucks. 50? Hell Djeay! So we chipped in us all: Young Loy, Twiggle, The Rock and half of The Zin!

Oh and T.O.P. Oh, and if you're looking to book Young Loy call on that number too ya'heard! Shameless marketing I know but hey.

We got there just as Rihanna was finishing her set. See those two brownish stick looking things under the spotlight? Those are her juicy ass thighs in some other type hotpants. Hot Damn! She is definately blazing! In a heartbeat!

Man you should have seen this guy that we hustled the tickets from. We took about 2o minutes trying to find his ass then. So after our hustle we give him the dough and he proper ushers us into the Golden Circle. Through about, like, a thousand people. We made a proper people-train from the outside all the way into the centre! WHAT!!!!!

Bobby Digital was already there

Twiggle doing the damn thing. Here's another one that I cant remember. My memory is going to get me into serious trouble one of these days. Yes I'm a horrible person, I know.

Just before the show started Twiggle had to get a bit of shut-eye cause the excitement was overwhelming! He was about to faint like a little bitch! HAHA! Jus playing dawg.

Before I move on, this is a pic from about 2 months ago. Don't you think this guy looks like Jigga?

That's motherfucken right ladies and gentlemen. Jay Motherfucken Z!!!! These pics are pretty self esplanatory. Except for the fact that they arent clear but it's cause me was excited and me hands were shaky. And I was jumping up and down losing my fucken mind and shit!!!

The Rock: "Dude, he's killing it!"

The Ruru: "Dude, I cant beleive I'm seeing Jay-Z live!"

The Rock and me losing our motherfucking minds! And Pi's eye sneaking in on the pic in the back.

The mandatory put your lighters and cellies in the air vibe. Looks fucken beautiful!

The end? WHAT! He didnt even perform my favourite song "Lucifer"! Mara why hey JZ? Mara WHY?!?!?! It was an alright show. I'm not even going to try and compare him with the other shows I've been too. I'm just glad I saw his ass.

I think everybody was there! I saw, like e'erbody. Jay too! Look at the cheesy ass schoolboy smile Twiggle's got going on. HAHA!

I was thirsty and tired as fuck after the show but I still managed to kepp it Gangstizarr!

After the show I hooked up with this crazy mofo!

Dont ask me why this cat is posing with the bouncer guy. But while we are on the subject here's a little tip for all of you guys out there who frequent the Jozi nightlife. From my years I've spent in this city, the best guy to befriend at any club is the bouncer. No matter how hardcore he looks. Fo' true!!! They generally are really cool peeps. It's probably be the best advise I can give you. Well not the best but it's pretty good advise.

We were leaving the joint and some guys had locked their keys in their car and Cocobusta getting his good Samaratin on. It actually worked, you know like they do in the movies. Just like that. Okay so maybe it took us about 22 mins but hey...it worked nonetheless.

So we drove around and around trying to look for the happening spot and we were greeted by closed doors everywhere we went! WTF is going on in this place? So we ended up at Berlin.

Where this chap was in rare form. The one on the left that is.

He proper muscled his way into the shequida's sitting next to us. See him there muscling his way in? HAHA!

An next thing you know we were in there! Well played there chap.

How weird was this? The majority of these girls were form the Freestate. And not any old proper town like Bloem but places like Sasolburg and Parys. Parys?!?!?! HAHAHAH!!! I don't think I've ever met anyone from there before even though I'm from Bloemfontein myself. But it's all good, they were mighty cool chica's so I'll give them that.

Jezzir! Fuck, we were dronk

And then it was home time

Peace and Hair Grease!